Free Soccer Drills and Info

Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.

Barcelona Jokes
Funniest Barcelona FC Jokes

FC Barcelona Jokes - Introduction

Hello and welcome to the funniest jokes about FC Barcelona that I could find.

I had a lot of fun reading and writing all of these Barcelona FC jokes and I hope you will have some laughs as well by the time you are done reading this funny Barcelona article.

Without any further introduction, I will start this FC Barcelona jokes article below...

Best Barcelona FC Jokes

Teacher and Student

In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have and she comes to Jimmy next.

Teacher: And what does your dad do?

Jimmy: He’s a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates.

After class, Teacher takes Jimmy to one side.

Teacher: Is that true about your dad?

Jimmy: No, he plays for FC Barcelona but I was too embarrassed to say.

Best Barcelona Jokes

Barcelona Fan and a Genie

A Barcelona fan finds a magic lamp on the street.

After rubbing it excitedly, Genie comes out of the lamp.

“I am your magic Genie and I will grant you one wish.”

The Barcelona fan thinks carefully and responds.

“Look at this map, he points at the map towards the Middle East. I want this region of the world to finally live peacefully.”

The Genie replies “Are you kidding me? I can’t grant that wish! No way, that is impossible. You need to think of something else.”

“Okay” says the Barca fan “I want FC Barcelona to be as great as Real Madrid.”

The genie thinks for a minute.. looks back at the Barca fan and says “Alright, let me see that map again.”

Best Barcelona Jokes

Devil VS Heaven

Devil constantly challenged St Peter to a game of soccer, but St Peter refused, until one day while walking around heaven he discovered that quite a number of top international footballers had entered the ‘pearly gates’.

“I think I’ll arrange to play that soccer game,” said St Peter to the Devil. “We have a great number of International Soccer Stars in heaven at the moment from which to select a winning team.”

“You’ll lose, you’ll lose!” taunted the Devil. “What makes you so sure we’ll lose?” asked St Peter.

“Because,” laughed the Devil, “we have all the referees down here.”

Might as well say the same for FC Farcelona.

Best Barcelona Jokes

3 Football Fans

Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams.

The first one asks, “Oh Lord when will Tottenham stop buying the refs?”

God Replies, “In the next five years.”

“But I’ll be dead by then,” says the man.

The second one asks, “Oh Lord, when will Manchester United stop buying the refs?”

The Good Lord – answers, “In the next ten years.”

“But I’ll be dead by then,” says the man.

The third one asks, “Oh Lord when will Barcelona stop buying the refs?”.

God answers, “I’ll be dead by then!”

Best Jokes about Barcelona FC

Barcelona Trip

A psychiatrist on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely.

The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud train noises “Chooo-Chooo… Whoooo-Whooooo…”

“What are you doing?” inquires the doctor. “I’m taking a train down to Barcelona,” replies the man.

The psychiatrist moves on to the next bed where he can see some very energetic activity going on underneath the covers. On pulling them back he finds a man totally naked face down into the mattress.

“And what are you doing?” asks the doctor, a little perplexed. “Well,” pants the man, “While he’s in Barcelona, I’m f*cking his wife!”

Funny Barcelona Jokes

Judgement Day

An FC Barcelona member of 60 years was dying and on his death bed he asks his wife for one last favor:

“Honey, please make me a Real Madrid member before I die”.

His wife in disbelief tells his poor husband:

“Are you crazy?! After being a Barcelona member for more than 60 years why do you want to become a member of Real Madrid?!”

And her husband answers: “I’d rather pay for my sins before Judgement Day arrives.”

Best Barcelona Jokes

Kid and Store Owner

A kid goes into a soccer store and asks the owner:

“I would like to buy an official FC Barcelona jersey. Do you have any?”

And the store owner replies:

“Which one? The team jersey or the referee’s jersey?”

Funny Barcelona Football Jokes

Bin Laden Hideout

Bin Laden has finally been found!

He was hiding in the FC Barcelona trophy cabinet.

He was reported as saying that it reminded him of the Afghan caves: cold, dark, empty and taken over by maggots.

Best Barcelona Soccer Jokes

Bin Laden Hideout

Q. What do Barcelona fans do when their team wins the league?

A. They turn off their PlayStation 3.

Q: Why did Joan Gaspart (a former FC Barcelona president between July 2000 and February 2003) want to marry the Duchess of Alba?

A: He wanted to have a ‘title’ badly.

Q: What has been the most positive aspect of the Barcelona team from 2000/2001?

A: Frank de Boer – He tested positive for nandrolone.

Q. What’s the difference between a Barca fan and a retarded 10 year old?

A. Nothing. The Siamese twins were separated at birth.

Q. What do you call a Barca fan with an IQ of 40?

A. Extremely gifted.

Best Barcelona Football Jokes

Mission Impossible

Act 1: Barcelona win the Champions League

Act 2: Barcelona win the Champions League

Act 3: Barcelona win the Champions League

What's the name of the play?

Mission Impossible

Best Barcelona Soccer Jokes


A man is sitting on Camp Nou waiting for a game to start.

A man comes up to him and asks him: "Excuse me, is the empty seat next to you taken?"

"Well, not anymore, it was my wife's"

"Your wife didn't come to the game?"

"No, she died"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. But didn't any family member or friend wanted to take her place"

"Not really, they preferred to attend her funeral today"

Best Barcelona Jokes

Two Barcelona Fans

Two mad Barcelona fans were sitting frozen and feeling awful in the stands, complaining about the rain and severe fog that was making the game very boring to watch.

They decided to go and grab a bite of something warm to eat.

Just as they raised from their seats a policeman interrupted them.

“You two should go home now” he said “the game was abandoned about 30 minutes ago!”

There you have some of the funniest jokes about Barcelona FC that I could find.

I hope you had as much fun reading them as I did writing this article :D

Return from Barcelona Jokes to World Soccer Teams
Return from Jokes About Barcelona FC to SoccerManiak Home Page

Arsenal FC - Crest History
Click here to read about the history of Arsenal FC badge or logo.
Arsenal History
Click here to read about the history of Arsenal FC in more detail.
Arsenal Jokes
Click here to read some jokes about Arsenal FC.
Arsenal Legends
Click here to read about the greatest players that played for Arsenal FC.

Chelsea FC - Crest History
Click here to read about the history of Chelsea FC badge or logo.
Chelsea History
Click here to read about the history of Chelsea Football Club in more detail.
Chelsea Legends
Click here to read about the greatest players that played for Arsenal Football Club.
Chelsea Jokes
Click here to read some funny Chelsea FC jokes.

Manchester United FC - Crest History
Click here to read about the history of Manchester United FC badge or logo.
Manchester United History
Manchester United had not always been known as Manchester United football club... Click on the link to read more.
Manchester United Legends
Click here to check out the greatest players of Manchester United Football Club from the past and present.
Manchester United Jokes
Click here to read some funny jokes about Manchester United.

Barcelona Logo History
Click here to read about the history of FC Barcelona crest.
History of FC Barcelona
Click here for complete Barcelona FC history.
Barcelona FC Legends
Click here to learn more about all the great players that played for this club.
Barcelona Jokes
Click here to read some funny FC Barcelona jokes.
Real Madrid Logo History
Please follow this link to find out more about Real Madrid crest history.
Real Madrid Soccer History
Click here to learn more about Real Madrid FC History starting with foundation in 1902.
Enjoy this page? Please spread the word. Here's how..

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.